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Attn. Rockies: See Us in 2120

February 14, 2011

The next installment of a rivalry of unprecedented heights is set to take the field in Scottsdale on March 3rd.

Nope, your memory is not failing you, and neither is the calendar on your iPhone.  The game set to be played that Thursday afternoon isn’t against the Dodgers.  Or the Yankees.  Or even the A’s, Phillies, or Padres.

March 3rd is the first spring training outing between the Giants and, according to Jim Tracy, our new hot and heavy rival Colorado Rockies.

I think the real meaning of rivalry has gotten lost here somewhere for Tracy, or at the very least strongly conflated with competition.  Every team that competes for a title is not embroiled in a rivalry.  Rivalries, the kind that started generations ago with bleacher chants and neighborhood turf wars and are kept alive now by obnoxiously sloganed t-shirts and snarky Twitter hash tag battles, are a rare and precious thing and that’s not a label to just slap on any close season.  Or, in this case, debates about the appropriate ways to compensate for the elevation and relative humidity in Denver.  The Juiced Ball Incident (or Humidorgate 2010, I’ll go along with whichever the Rockies faithful are more fond of) was an interesting blip on the newsreel of last season, and if nothing else it gave Giants fans yet another quotable Tim Lincecum moment, but that the Giants felt the Rockies were the ones “standing in their way” seems more than a bit hyperbolic.  The Giants couldn’t have afforded to drop that series to the Rockies, no question, but the Rockies were standing in the way in much the same sense that the curb outside my apartment is standing between me and getting to the Mexican place around the corner.  If I don’t step over the curb, I’m not going to get the carnitas torta that’s waiting for me, but the curb isn’t going to jump up and wrestle me to the ground so it can steal my take out.  At this point, the Rockies are like an annoying little brother who thinks that the level of irritation you feel when they, for example, borrow your video games without asking is in some way equivalent to that bitch at school who stole your boyfriend and who you glare daggers at every time you pass each other in the hallway.

Rivalries are in large part about history, and when the Rockies can roll out the kind of emotional baggage that the Dodgers (Beat LA) have with our guys, then great, but something tells me I’m not going to be teaching my future kids how to chant “Beat Colorado” when they’re learning to talk.

In conclusion —

Dear Mr. Jim Tracy,

The San Francisco Giants staff regrets to inform you that they are pre-occupied with ensuring that the Los Angeles Dodgers spend the 2011 season in reflective baby blue satin. Please try again in 110 years.


The Intern, on behalf of the SF Giants Front Office

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