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When baseball nerds attack! Next on Sick Sad World.

March 19, 2011

You ever have one of those conversations that starts out with a simple “man I miss Player X” or “I wish we could flip Player Y for Player Z” and then derails into hilarious dream rosterbating?

Okay so maybe it’s just us, but we had a long-winded one of those tonight, with some help from some of our favorite partners in crime on Twitter, Mac (of Third Street Kings) and Christine, and we figured we’d share the fruits of our late night, nostalgia infused labors.

What we ended up with was a whole lot of defense, a bit more offense than we originally expected, and a team we would love watching on and off the field, even though we’d probably be tortured just as much by them as any other incarnation of the Giants.

Disclaimer: This is meant in the spirit of sheer ridiculousness and not actual business minded baseball.  We’ve ignored things like age, availability, and uh… in some cases, objective talent.  We did keep it to 25 guys, though, and it is still largely based on the current roster, so there are some omissions of people we are rather fond of.  This is purely nostalgia fueled, sentimental, biased as all hell good times.

Starting Pitchers:
Tim Lincecum
Matt Cain
Jonathan Sanchez
Madison Bumgarner
Barry Zito

Javier Lopez
Sergio Romo
Noah Lowry
Jeremy Affeldt
Ryan Vogelsong

Brian Wilson

Buster Posey
Benito Santiago

Infield Starters:
Brandon Belt (1B)
Freddy Sanchez (2B)
Brandon Crawford (SS)
Pablo Sandoval (3B)

Infield Bench:
Omar Vizquel
Kevin Frandsen

Outfield Starters:
Cody Ross (LF)
Andres Torres (CF)
Nate Schierholtz (RF)

Outfield Bench:
Pat Burrell
Aubrey Huff
Darren Ford

Manager: J.T. Snow
Bench Coach: Rich Aurilia
Hitting Coach: Jeff Kent
Bullpen Coach: Robb Nen
1B Coach: Randy Winn
3B Coach: Tim Flannery

Special Assistants:
Will Clark
Kirk Rueter
Ron Wotus

We can almost see J.T. Snow fielding this roster, and we’re pretty sure that’s a good encapsulation of why we love him.  Also this is proof of just how much we need to never actually be allowed to manage anything more serious than a Little League team.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Christine permalink*
    March 20, 2011 12:09 am

    This is – THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I want to put this roster up on my wall and look at it every day. BENITO SANTIAGO IS ON THIS ROSTER, I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE. 🙂 Thank you for the lulz and the nostalgia.

    • March 20, 2011 12:23 am

      I almost want to make a poster of this just for the lulz, it’s totally true. 😀

      • Christine permalink*
        March 20, 2011 7:25 am

        Ok look I know this got finished last night but is there any any way we could flip Zito for Kirk Rueter? /sorry for being annoying

  2. Christine permalink*
    March 20, 2011 7:27 am

    WAIT STOP IGNORE ME I forgot he was a special assistant. IGNORE ME.

    • March 20, 2011 10:37 am

      Heh, that was exactly why we had him in as a special assistant. He can harass Robb, keep the guys entertained in the clubhouse and talk them down when they need it.

      We briefly contemplated flipping Zito for Kevin Correia but eventually came to the conclusion that we’d just feel too guilty cutting Barold. Not that there’s not still a bit of Correia related guilt as a result, but he’s at least hanging in there with the Pirates still.

  3. Maiya permalink*
    March 20, 2011 10:50 am

    You know what we forgot? A pitching coach. Do we keep Rags?

    • March 20, 2011 11:23 am

      Rags. OR WOODY.

      • Maiya permalink*
        March 20, 2011 11:32 am

        ! Bloody filter thing marked you as spam! /glares at filter thing/

        Woody is tempting. But then what do we do with Rags? We can’t ditch Rags. And the idea of Woody and Robb managing the pitchers is mildly terrifying. Then again, so is the idea of Richie as a bench coach. Lol us.

  4. Christine permalink*
    March 20, 2011 11:12 am

    Hm. I think so, because we know he’s already good at what he does, and not only do we know that he can handle a pitching staff, but he can handle this pitching staff specifically (at least the starting 5 and several of the bullpen). Plus he’s awesomely funny and I like seeing/hearing him and the guys mess with each other.

    Unless you want to give Jeremy’s spot to someone else and make him the pitching coach. Because let’s face it, he would be a rad pitching coach.

    • Maiya permalink*
      March 20, 2011 11:27 am

      Oh dear, I was already firmly on the Rags wagon until you brought up Jeremy as a pitching coach…that would be…ridiculous :D.

      But nah, Rags is Rags is awesome, and Affeldt will be just fine harassing him from the bullpen. Besides, dude is a $110 million dollar man (so says FanGraphs).

      • March 20, 2011 12:37 pm

        Affeldt would be an ace pitching coach, and I am totally on board with him taking over for Rags when he’s ready to go retire to surf with Flan.

        I am seriously so amused and terrified of what the STAFF of this team looks like. How did we let J.T., Richie, Robbie and Kent be in charge of ANYTHING as a group?

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